There’s A Birthday In Small Heath – By SkyDaz

Posted on February 12, 2007 
Filed Under Articles By SkyDaz

Dawn breaks on the boulevard of broken dreams known locally as St Andrews. All around the world children are excitedly clambering out of their warm beds and chattering like Birds of Paradise in the mating season. Exhausted parents desperately try to claim a few more minutes of peace before the chaos of the fresh new day destroys the calm.

In a nearby terraced house a young boy wearing Birmingham City pyjamas is rubbing his eyes and trying to ascertain the time on his Birmingham City clock. He has been waiting twelve months for this moment and throws back his Birmingham City quilt, reaches under his bed for his Birmingham City slippers and religiously touches his Birmingham City team photo on the wall. All sponsored by Floors-To-Go.

The front room is closed shut because it contains the presents that have his name on them. His mother and father are already awake and are waiting patiently for their son to join them.

“Good morning Trevor.”

“Morning dad, morning mum.”

The father calls the boy over.

“Son, it is time.”

The mother nods.

“You are of an age now to fully understand what it is to be a Birmingham City supporter. You have demonstrated your commitment to the cause by attending home matches and booing players when their names are read out and you have faithfully travelled with the ATC to many grounds. Next door houses the perfect gifts, essential for all Blues fans.”

“Auntie Joan’s?”

“No. Not that next door, I mean the other room.”

The father stands and solemnly leads the boy to the front room. The anticipation is sending the boy into raptures. He has wondered for weeks as to what his ‘big present’ could possibly be.

Dramatically the father slowly opens the door to build the tension as the boy tries to look round him at the contents. He is greeted with a surprise for sure. There standing proud is what can only be described as a bus stop sign and a large brown box. The boy looks up at his father with a questioning look and holds his tongue as he sees tears welling up in his father’s eyes.

“Can I open them?” he stammered.

“Of course, go for it.”

The boy ran first to the brown box. He ripped off the sellotape and pulled out a large grey metallic box with a large red button in the middle of it and a light in the corner. Confused he turned the box over and over but there was nothing else. He then ran to the bus stop which had not been wrapped due to its size. There was a light on the top of it.

“Do you like them?”

“I think so, what are they?” he didn’t want to appear ungrateful but he didn’t understand.

“There is a sticker for the grey box. Put it underneath the button.”

In the brown box there was indeed a sticker and it read ‘Panic Button’. He stuck it on the grey box.

“There is also a sticker for the sign.”

Attached to the pole there was indeed another sticker and it read ‘Bandwagon’. His father lifted him up and together they stuck it onto the bus stop.

“I still don’t understand father.”

“It’s simple really my son. You are a Birmingham City fan and for as long as you live one of the lights must always be lit. That will denote your position regarding the club. You can never ever be in the middle. When we win you will light the bus stop and when we lose you can press the red button. Every Birmingham City fan has these items in their home in various guises and although some will deny their existence in truth they are out there. Sometimes you will spend weeks with one lit before having to light the other one. No matter what happens though remember you are always only one goal away from switching the lights over. In conversations you will always be a representative of one of the lights and as long as you keep one of them glowing you will always be a true Birmingham City supporter.”

“I think I understand father but I would like to spend more time with the bus stop than the red button.”

“We all would son but if that was the case you would be a Chelsea fan. Do you want to be a Chelsea fan?”

“No father, I love the Blues.”

The mother and father looked at each other and smiled.

“Good for you son but we must warn you that the red button will play a huge part in your life as a football fan and there is nothing wrong with switching the lights round on a weekly basis.”

The small boy looked from parent to parent. In that moment he knew that he was the most loved boy in the world. And what was more he was now a man. His other presents were irrelevant. He never bothered watching the dvd of ‘Zulu’, nor did he ever read Simon Jordan’s autobiography ‘How to be successful despite a terrible haircut’ or play the special game version of ‘Who wants to be a millionaire?’ sponsored by Robbie Savage and Matthew Upson.

Some things transcend monetary value. Being a true fan is one of them. Keep right on.


2 Responses to “There’s A Birthday In Small Heath – By SkyDaz”

  1. John Baker on February 12th, 2007 5:39 pm

    Aaaaahhhh, that is just so special, and warmed the cockles of my blue soul right down to the holes in my Trevor Francis footy socks.

    It brings back fond memories of cup semi-final defeats v WBA, Leeds, and cough, splutter, vomit, Fulham.

    It’s one of life’s treats being a Birmingham City fan, and although we spend a lot of time waiting in anticipation at that bus stop, the bus often never comes.

  2. Ted on February 13th, 2007 7:24 am

    2-0 home win Vs Millwall, in a blizzard, standing on G3 on the Kop – lowest ever attendence at St Andrew’s, 2thousand punters. I had to walk home to Yardley. My ‘finest’ moment as a Blues fan.
    Oh Dugarry made me cry once, just through sheer brilliance… stop, I’m welling up.

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